The inspiration for today's post came recently during a walk around the town in which I live. I have spent the past two decades residing in what could loosely be described as a small but popular resort town, the type that only has a low-cost supermarkets in its centre. I was entering one of these recently when I came across a family who were clearly having an off-season break, probably in one of our many holiday-focused establishments. They didn’t actually say as much, but their 'city ways' certainly screamed this to all the locals present.
The parents were obviously keen to pay for their purchases, but the children had not finished looking at sweets, so they did not follow them towards the till. As a result, the clearly annoyed mum turned and yelled to the children to get a move, using that old trick of using first and middle names as an indication of how serious they are about what they are asking. I don’t remember the name of the boy, but the girl was definitely called ‘Destiny True’, and as this name was bellowed across the supermarket I quickly switched into teacher mode and thought how that poor child would have to live with her name for her whole life, and how selfish the parents were to give it to them.
Now I know that sounds extremely judgemental, and I am prepared to admit that it is, but as teachers we obviously experience hundreds of children's names and we see trends come and go if we remain in the profession for any length of time. It is true that we make judgements about children based on names, and I would argue that there is a great deal of accuracy in these judgements as we have such large sample sizes to base them on. I am not going to discuss these judgments here though, as I want to focus on the idea that there is such a thing as ‘teacher mode’.
I will share some more examples of ‘teacher mode’ with you to reinforce my point that it is a real thing. The domain of the first of these is the car park. Now, it starts for us teachers in the staff car park at school but it soon extends into the real world, primarily supermarkets or regularly used urban centres. I would argue that any survey of a school staff car park over one week would show that at least 90% of teachers park in the same space every day, and that this is an entirely unspoken agreement. To test this aspect of teacher mode in real life, if you are in a car with a teacher and they are driving then ask them to park in a different part of the car park that you are heading for. I guarantee they will hate it!
The next aspect of teacher mode involves lunchtimes. Timetables are sacred to teachers and whilst they can change in a school, one thing that stays the same is lunchtime. Teachers will go by this timetable 365 days a year, and if the time designated for lunch in school passes and they are not eating they will start to feel anxious until they have something to eat in their hand. This is a little less common than the car park thing, and I would suggest that around 80% of teachers experience it. If you are with a teacher at midday then there are obvious signs to look for to see if this is a facet of their ‘teacher mode’.
We can apply a teacher's obsession with timetables to other areas of their personal lives, not just the time they must eat lunch. There is a distinctly organisational aspect to the personality of a teacher, which tends to manifest itself in social gatherings where they suddenly become school trips, with the teacher taking the lead role. This can happen in groups or in couples, but teacher mode will always kick in. A folder might even be needed if there is any kind of itinerary or paperwork involved, and you can rely on the teacher for that too.
Shopping can also become a more interesting / painful experience when teachers are involved. The explosion of charity shops in recent years have become fertile hunting grounds for keen teachers seeking out cheap resources for their classrooms. Educational books in particular, but also what I refer to as ‘grandparent presents’ (presents that might appear to be toys but have a sinister undercurrent of learning) can be found in brand new or nearly new condition in most branches of the bigger shops, and they are brilliant additions to classes. As a head you need to watch out for the class teacher who goes a little too far in stocking up their classroom using their own money and support them as best you can from within the school budget.
The next aspect of teacher mode can often be seen when teachers are shopping, as amateur sign-writers in shops, cafes and restaurants are perhaps the biggest culprits. Marking plays such a large part in the life of a teacher that they will often verbally ‘mark’ signs, notices, menus etc when out and about. They won’t feed this back to the writer so, as a friend, partner or spouse of a teacher the burden of receiving this feedback will fall on you. It will probably seem like nothing to a non-teacher, but it can feel like life or death to someone in the profession. Just a personal note, my favourite of these miss-spelled signs at the moment is in the window of my favourite fish and chip shop. Whilst their takeaways are world-class, their spelling is definitely not, as their proud notice stating their new ‘vegie’ menu attests. The inability of a teacher not to mark a piece of writing can also be seen in judgements about handwriting, and also in their often excellent mental maths skills, so there is an upside too!
The next aspect of ‘teacher mode’ is harder to explain, but it can appear to outsiders as a level of sensibleness that is not typical for someone of that age. This can include the way a teacher dresses, how compliant they are in a situation where they are expected to queue or how reluctant they are to break any perceived ‘rules’. Perhaps the best example of this I ever saw was a flight to a Greek island that I was on around 10 years ago. Admittedly, as it was in the school holidays you would expect a higher than average number of teachers to be on board the flight, but this was the quietest, most well behaved, well organised and generally pastel coloured flight I have ever been on. If I was more outgoing I would have asked for a hand up from every teacher on the plane. My estimate is that at least 90% of the seats were taken up by people working in education that day. Once we had reached our destination, which involved a coach journey, a boat trip of around 45 minutes and a drive in a rented car, I thought I was safe. I was proved wrong a few days later when the head teacher of a school just up the road from mine wandered past my partner and I whilst we were having coffee sat by a quiet fishing harbour!
Hoarding, in a very small way, is also a common symptom of teacher mode, and it is most prevalent in colleagues working in early years. With a little bit of imagination, most packaging or household off-cuts can be used creatively in the early years classroom. I would imagine that this could be challenging and annoying to non-teachers, but it is something we cannot turn off. Frustratingly, some businesses have turned the collection of ‘rubbish’ into a money-making scheme where schools buy into their service, but this kind of removes the romance of the act of collecting things for art and craft, in a funny way. At least now we don't have to go through donated newspapers before they are used with the children to take out all the page three pictures mind you!
I have not mentioned the aspect of teacher mode which is perhaps most well-known to non teachers, which is the fact that we will judge the behaviour of other people's children and reflect this on their parenting skills. We don’t enjoy doing this, well most of us don’t, but the fact of the matter is that we just cannot stop doing it.
So, if we agree that teacher mode exists, how do we as teachers manage it. Do we give into it and accept that we are teachers 24/7 or do we try to do something about it when we are not actually in front of the children? I have met teachers who have chosen the former, and it is not fun. I guess they must surround themselves with like minded individuals to avoid a meltdown, either for themselves or for those close to them. Most of us, thankfully, take the latter approach, which can be done in a number of ways. Here are some that have worked for me in the past:
Pretend that you are not actually a teacher. This is a good tactic in social situations when there are not many other teachers present. I have used it to good effect when having my hair cut in the past, as it avoids having to listen to others' opinions about ‘children today’.
Avoid television programmes which focus on the teaching profession. You can occasionally make an exception for comedies, but drama is definitely not a good idea. The same goes for the news, on television or radio.
Go on ‘adults only’ holidays. These are amazing and really give you the chance to relax. They also lend themselves to plane rides with few or zero children. I am not judging parents who take their children on planes, just the ones who take them on planes that I am also flying on.
Foster interests that are enjoyed by adults and not considered ‘family pursuits’. There is a crossover with the previous point here, but it can be widened out to include interests throughout the year such as art galleries, sporting events, gardens, national trust visits etc. Museums can be good, but not the modern kind as they are designed to encourage children and families to attend.
It is worth noting here that one of the ways of reducing the impact of teacher mode on your social life is to be in a relationship with another teacher. That happens a lot, but the dark side of this is that it can also magnify the effect of teacher mode within the couple and drive away 'normal' people.
Thinking back to the incident I described at start of this post, I must say that it gave me a warm and comfortable feeling in a funny kind of way. I am now in my longest period of being out of the classroom in the last 30 years and, although I am experiencing less of it than normal, my 'teacher mode' is still there and if I return to the classroom in the not too distant future I will be able to switch it on again as needed. In the meantime, as weird as it sounds, I think I might try to keep it ticking over in my day to day life, just in case it does disappear if I don’t use it!
Comments
Post a Comment